Words. Thoughts. Hopes. Dreams. Regrets.
Over the last week I’ve been plagued and haunted by my own brain.
Wait, what? Yes! I have waaay too much going on right now in my head and I feel like I am going to spontaneously combust. Maybe it’s because I figured out blogging / counseling is what I want to do. OR because in 8 days I will be 29 and have realized I am headed to my “dirty thirties”.
At least writing lowers the annoying sound of the constant inner monologue that seems to play all day in my head. I can barely focus when someone is talking to me. I literally sat on the couch last night with hubby watching re-runs of ‘The Office’ all the while writing fiercely. At one point hubby leaned over to peek. Right now my subconscious is wondering what the h-e-double hockey sticks is going on with my stomach. She’s not sure if it’s because we said eff it and drunk coffee and a breakfast essentials while munching on a calorie-loaded glazed donut or….could I be pregnant?
That witch wonderful visitor is supposed to be showing
up any day now. I know this not because I track it regularly or mark it
on my calendar or have an app (which they do by the way called My
Days - you're welcome avid trackers). I know because it comes right after my friend Teressa is done with
hers. Funny right. Lately I have been extra tired,
extra annoyed and feel like I am having an out of body experience. I
mean, I’d love another baby. We aren’t officially trying, but we aren’t
officially preventing either. We are like in between both of those. I feel horrid. My head could hit this table right now and my eyes would
close with no protest. Matter of fact, I think I will
give in. 15 minute power nap here I come!