Losing My Best Friend, My Sister and My Twin to A Thing Called Life...

     As everyone knows me on this blog I'm Twin Uno... So that means there's a Twin Dos... Twin dos is my best friend. But she didn't always use to be my best friend...

     We always fought. About clothes, about shoes, "She's looking at me." Stupid things. But What sisters don't? I use to say I hated my sister. Because at one point I thought I did. I never thought me and her could ever get close. I never use to trust her. We just grew so far apart in middle school.

    People would tell us how stupid we were because we were twins. Were suppose to be each others best friends. But, your not in our situation. You don't know what we go through with each other on a day to day basis. We've been with each other from every waking moment since the day you were conceived.

    Once we turn seventeen we had both realized how stupid it was to be fighting all the time and not be best friends.We both realized how important it was for us it was to get closer to one another because we were growing up and one day we were going to actually have to grow up.  Slowly we started growing closer to one another... Secretly... We both knew what we were doing but the other one didn't.

    March 13th, 2014 I lost my best friend, my sister and my twin to a thing called life. That's the day she got married. Than on March 14th., 2014 She moved three hours away. I didn't realize till that day how close I was to her. I didn't realize till that day how much I loved her. I didn't realize that day how hard it was going to be. I didn't realize till that day how much I wished she stole my clothes again. I just wished on anything that she'd come back....
.
   I cried for three days straight. I felt like she died. My heart was so broken. I could actually feel it break. My stomach was so tied up in knots. Yes it was a good thing that she was happy. I was happy for her. But that doesn't mean I want my best friend gone.

   A twins bond is the strongest bond ever. Ever since I was in pre-k they use to bring her to me when I was crying... No one brought her to me this time. Her room was right next to mine. We kept her door shut. I couldn't bare to look into it. She didn't feel as much pain I was in yet because she had her mind on her new husband and moving but that's where I say yet....
 
   April 4th, 2014, I moved to Florida. That's when she finally realized my pain. The pain of me being more than 1,000 miles away. She finally felt what I felt. The stomach tied in knots and the heart breaking. It wasn't pretty how many Facebook updates I got about myself lol.

  But to this day our relationship is only getting stronger. I guess we had to mature a little bit to realize how much we meant to each other.

Dealing with Autism so Close to Home.

Hey all! Here's another guest post from my sister Twin Uno and today she is talking about something that is near and dear to us...


This is my story on how I deal with my little sister having Autism....

   When Angela was about two years old we started seeing signs that she was different. Things like her only standing on her tip toes to walk. It took her a really long time to crawl.But we brushed it off for a long time because we thought it was normal.

When Angela started going to school she started developing and learning slower than the other kids. That's when it really hit us that something may be wrong.

After years and years of testing the doctors told us she had Autism.

Autism is a mental condition, present from early childhood, characterized by difficulty in communicating and forming relationships with other people and in using language and abstract concepts.

    I see Angela as just a normal kid. Other kids may find her as weird or crazy and they may make fun of her. But she's my little sister who I love and adore. Here's Angela in a nutshell... When she wants to act her age she will. When she doesn't she'll talk what we call 'baby talk'. She watches the weather a lot. She has recently gotten into Doctor shows. She can also be really funny. I want her to feel like she can talk to me but she picks the worst times to be the most talkative... but that's sisters for you.


    At this moment Angela and I are sharing a room, which is a lot on me.

I like to say I'm very patient with her and the fact that she has Autism... But I'm really not... When she makes her noises, talks like a baby or talks a lot I tell her to shut up or yell at her. I do feel really bad about it... I do wanna blame it and say that its the sister in me that comes out but I don't want to... The sister in me no matter what should protect my little sister no matter how annoying she might be because she can't take care of herself and because I have to do it for her.



   Sharing a room with Angela also comes with a price that her mentality is about an eight year old sometimes... So she likes One Direction and puppies and she wants it all over our room.  Me being the eighteen year old I am all I want in my room is zebra EVERYWHERE and maybe a Fifth Harmony poster on the wall. But I have to be mature and come to the decision that she can have at least One Direction over her bed.


  Living with a little sister who has autism is hard. It never gets easier... Especially when she becomes a teenager and that little teenager rebellion starts to kick in every now and then. Angela is almost sixteen and its just now kicking in so I guess we can say we're lucky. But she has a smart mouth. Man,  if I had known I had a mouth like that when I was younger I would have slapped myself. Now she slams our door when she doesn't get her way. Like this morning she asked me one time to wake up I just laid there trying to wake up. She walked out after like two seconds and slammed the door boy I jumped outta bed so fast and she found out to never slam that door again lol. Eventually she'll do it anyways though because with Autism you end up forgetting things.


  Sometimes I have to tell Angela step by step what to clean because other wise she'll forget. She forgets where she grew up. She forgets what happened yesterday. I feel really bad for her sometimes.



  Like I said before... Its really hard having a little sister with Autism. But I make it through. I love her with all my heart. I couldn't imagine her without Autism. The Autism makes her who she is. But I'd love her with or without Autism. Her waking up every morning makes me wake up every morning. I love you, Angela <3.

Twin Uno and Angela

If this story has effected or impacted your life in anyway please donate to our group Angela's Angels. We will be walking to support Autism on Saturday April 26th. The link to donate is here: 

http://www.walknowforautismspeaks.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=1084173&lis=0&kntae1084173=0CDE87B2EACC4A4AB1B4C2A2F9165C7B&supId=0&team=5943915&cj=&teamName=Angela%2527s%2BAngels

Dealing with Forms of Anxiety

Here's another guest post from Twin Uno and she is talking about something a lot of people go through. Check it out.

 Social anxiety is a discomfort or a fear when a person is in social interactions that involve a concern about being judged or evaluated by others.

 Anxiety is stress that can come from any event or thought that makes you feel frustrated, angry, or nervous. Anxiety is a feeling of fear, unease, and worry. The source of these symptoms is not always known.

About three years ago when I had just moved to Tennessee I had noticed something wasn't right. I was more shy. I couldn't raise my hand in class. I would freak out over little tiny messes and I couldn't go to the bathroom by myself. Someone always had to go with me.

I started doing some research at school after realizing my new habits and had come to the conclusion that I had anxiety. I also had a form of anxiety called social anxiety.

After noticing all these habits I started to hate myself. Making myself even more self continuous than I already was. So I wanted help.

I started seeing a therapist. This therapist didn't give me medication. She gave me tools for life. One thing she taught me to do when I get anxious or feel uneasy is the relaxation method. The relax action method is you pretty much relaxing your entire body starting from your head to your toes saying take all the stress and the anxiety out of my head and let it sink into to the bed. Its easier when your laying down. Another tool she taught me was concentrating on something else when you have for example a lot of people around you and you don't feel comfortable something I did was a tapped my fingers on my leg (its not noticeable because people with social anxiety don't want to be noticed) I also counted till my anxiety was maintainable. The last tool for life I was taught was when I was in an anxious situation I couldn't handle is close my eyes and think of my happy place. Think of how it feels, how it tastes, how it smells and also how it sounds.

Before I moved my happy place happened to be on the beach with my nephew. So how it felt: hot. How it tasted: salty because of the water. How it smells fishy lol and how it sounded was loud and I could always hear my nephew's cute little laugh.

There's a ton of tools for life methods you just have to figure out what works for you or if it works for you. Before I knew it I was trying out for the school choir. I even brought myself to changing schools. I made new friends. I could raise my hand in class I could even go to the bathroom by myself.

My therapist was even impressed with how much I had accomplished within a short amount of time. I'm more outgoing now. I'm still shy. But I am also still working on things. I will always deal with anxiety and social anxiety. But as for now I'm just me.

Photo Credit:sandiegopsychologist.com

Moving Day From Hell

 Hey cyber peeps! The Hightowers have been extra busy with life slapping us in the face...so I'll be having my sister (Twin Uno) guest post on here every week so you guys won't miss me too much :) They recently moved back to where I'm residing in sunny Florida and I am grateful to have them back. Unfortunately their moving experience wasn't all bells and whistles. Read my sister's post below to see what I mean and check out this cute picture of my baby loving that his titi is back in town :)

When I think of moving...I think of leaving people and friends I love behind. I never thought I'd be leaving things that I actually needed behind.

 See, moving has always been exciting for me. I get a new house and a new room to decorate and rearrange. I get to make new friends. Maybe even change my look if need be. It's like a fresh start and it feels good. However something wasn't right about this time.This time around moving didn't seem that fun. 

There were 3 hard obstacles we had to deal with:
1) My dad had to fly in from Florida to Memphis to drive the truck back and caught a cold when he got here
2) My mom needed to go through stuff especially since we were downgrading to a condo and we obviously still had way too much 
3) Again this probably goes with #2 but we had WAY too much stuff and had to leave things behind- MY THINGS

When you have  3 adults and 1 child who all have stuff, you have to make sure you strategically pack the truck so everything will fit. This time, that was not the case. Everything got loaded onto the moving truck and it was packed to its core. Not even a single paperclip could've fit. I  happened to walk into my room and nothing of mine was packed on the truck! Not my TV, not my dresser and certainly not my bed. I would have nowhere to sleep at the new place!

 After all the arguing, the little excitement I did have left went completely down the drain. All I could do was burst into tears. We made a decision to leave my things including my bed there. Lucky me. Shortly after, we opened up the hall closet and found eight more boxes of things that we all absolutely could not live without. So we ended up buying a trailer to go on the back of the moving truck. Finally we could fit everything I needed onto this trailer. If it had lips, I probably would've kissed it!

The only things that ended up being left was the box spring to my bed and the dining room table... When my dad tells you to down size... he really means it!  Luckily there was room for us to fit in the car and the cab of the truck - so we didn't have to downsize lol.

Do you have any moving horror stories? Did your dad make you leave half your bed behind? Feel free to share so I don't think I am alone on this...

2014 crashed into us....literally

It was perfect. The Christmas holidays were filled with fun, great food, family and lots of laughs. Hubby and I took a couple vacay days from work to stay home with the kids and we got to spend a lot of time together. It was fabulous! New Years Eve came and my dad came over to help us celebrate the New Year. We had drinks and I made cookies and we stayed up after midnight ringing in the New Year. 2014 was going to kiss ass!  Then, it happened. The Saturday after New Years Day we had just finished all of our grocery shopping. My BIL (who has been staying with us) called Hubby to say he left his wallet at home and needed him to bring it to him. So Hubby dropped us off and headed out to take him the wallet. About an hour later I get call that scared the shit out of me.

Me: hey bae where you at?

Hubby: baby this girl just hit me!

Me: WHAT?????????????????????????????? ARE YOU SERIOUS??? ARE YOU OKAY?

Hubby: Yes I’m serious. Our car isn’t badly damaged. I’m about to call the police.

I cannot go into any more specifics because we have hired an attorney to help us with all of this but let me just say an accident no matter how serious, is life changing. My poor hubby has to go to physical therapy 3 times a week and has severe neck and back pain. He can’t throw the football around or give the baby horsey rides etc and it completely sucks. He is on light duty at work and cannot sit or stand for a long period of time which is difficult considering his job requires him to sit for most of his shift. On top of all that, the 2yr old is cutting all 4 of his molars at the same time…it has been loads of fun around here lemme tell ya. But we are hanging in there. So that my friends is why I haven’t been writing much.

How was your New Years? Have you ever been in a car accident? Does it still affect you daily?

Body by Victoria almost killed me....

If you know me then you know I have been wearing the same perfume scent for ten years. Due to my severe allergy issues there is only one perfume I can handle wearing on a daily basis and that is Body by Victoria from Victoria's Secret. Not only does it smell super-fab it has a light scent my allergies can tolerate. Here is a picture of it :)

So here I am at work on a Tuesday and I am spraying it up and reveling in the wonderful smell that is protruding from me and glad it is something other than fruit snacks and waffles. My hubby sends me a message saying he will be late picking me up. So I am outside waiting when he assures me he is just down the street.

Now the parking lot of my workplace is known for its wildlife of alligators, snakes and raccoons. So I only went out there when my husband assured me he was down the street. Well then something happened that delayed traffic. And instead of 3 minutes it took him 15 minutes to get to me. I didn't realize in the process I had become a $.99 mosquito buffet. You see Body by Victoria has to be some kind of binaca to the mosquitoes because I noticed I started itching a little. The more I itched the quicker I saw my skin turn red and swell. Then I started assessing myself and realized those suckers (pun-intended) had bit me through my pants. Through. My. Pants.

I got bit more than ten times. Probably like 20. On my legs, feet, arms and face. W.T.F. By the time my husband got there he must have thought I was unstable because all I could get out were curse words followed by me looking for the hand sanitizer to take the sting away.

And that's my story of how Body by Victoria almost killed me lol. Not really but I needed to blame someone so there ya go.

Have you ever had a perfume be responsible for your near-death experience?

Photo credit: Amazon.com / Victoria's Secret

This is not a sponsored post, all opinions are solely mine.

the time my dad was a ninja...

When I was about nine years old my dad worked two jobs prepping for the birth of my two twin sisters. He worked at a factory full time and part time at Cub Foods in Chicago. Something I thought was really cool was part of his security training included learning different martial arts techniques to defend himself. For months he practiced with a professional and he would even come home and show me different ways to get out of a hold and etc.

Right before I turned 12 my family moved from Chicago down to Florida. My mom, dad, two sisters and I were all living with my grandparents. When my grandparents had friends of theirs coming in town, we had to move into a condo above their unit to make room. This condo was gorgeous. The hallway was lined with wall to wall glass mirrors that had gold trim and the theme throughout the whole condo was pristine white and gold. Not really something an 11 year old and 2 eight month olds need to be living in especially if you plan to keep it as immaculate as the owners. My dad was working the grave yard shift which meant he’d go to work around 10pm and get off around 5 or 6am.

 So one morning when he was coming in the door he noticed slight movement in the hallway. He immediately froze. He waited and then saw the figure move again. Knowing the person was too big to be us or my mother my dad got in touch with his newly trained inner-ninja and kicked the crap out of the person. Only there was one problem. When he kicked the person he was met with some hard resistance. You see, the person he kicked….was his OWN reflection in the mirror. Yup. You read it right. There was no intruder. No boogey-man. Only him. I guess he had worked a double shift that day and was extra tired when he came in and it was really dark outside. So when he looked in the hallway the mirrors must’ve played tricks with his eyes lol. He’s lucky none of that expensive glass shattered. There was only one single footprint on the glass from his shoe. Oh and of course all of the commotion woke up everyone in the house and we were more than happy to laugh at my dad. 

 Was your dad ever a ninja? Does anyone in your family try to kill their own reflection? Please tell me I am dying to know...and it'd make my dad feel better that he isn't the only one lol.

Photo credit: The costume land 

My sisters are terrorists....

My sisters are terrorists. Not to the country. Not to the state or the community.

They. Terrorize. ME.

Being the oldest I am always chosen as the referee.

 Can’t I have a moment of insanity and whine and scream and curse and unleash my inner brat? NO. Why you ask? Besides the fact that I am a wife and mom, 2 of my 3 younger sisters decided they wanted to unleash their inner brat. But instead of having ‘moments’ they choose to act that way ‘daily’. I end up being the reasonable one who will sit everyone down, put them in their place and tell them what’s right is right and what’s wrong is wrong. Okay, so maybe I have had a couple of bratty moments (like when I told my sister and her bf they were acting like petty bitches lol) but normally I put out the fires. However it can get pretty ridiculous. I hoped and prayed for the day my sisters would grow up and take care of themselves. Me being the older sister I was dubbed as the built-in babysitter so I was constantly thinking “man it is going to be AWESOME when they get older!” WRONG! What the heck was I thinking? Did I actually think it would be easier when they hit their teenage years with all the hormones and a constant slew of caffeine and sugar in their bloodstream? Yup. I got bamboozled.

Today for example, I am at work reading blogs very busy and I peek under my desk to see if my janky phone is still charging after I ghetto-rigged the cord to catch a connection. I have a text from my sister who I call Twin Uno because she was born first. It read as follows:

Twin Uno: after graduation I am leaving town with you. I can’t take this anymore!!!

Me: What is going on?

Twin Uno: I am at school and I am getting cursed out and threatened!

Me: By who?? (waiting for her response my heart is beating so fast because I assume she’s getting bullied or something)

Twin Uno: Twin Dos and her bf texted me cursing me out about some donuts I ate.

 (I promise I had to read it twice to make sure I read right. Yep she said donuts. W.T.F.)

Me: Tell them to eff off leave you alone and then ignore them.

Okay so my advise isn’t always reasonable, G-rated or worth a Nobel Peace Prize. But hey, it’s free and my coffee hasn’t kicked in yet. 

Do you play referee to any of your siblings or children? If so, how do you keep them from killing each other while not being a drunken mess in the process? Trust me, I would LOVE to know.

Photo credit: Blind Gossip

My love for a green monster....

Sometime before my son turned 1 year old I was in Dollar General and saw Toy Story 3 on sale for $5. My sisters loved that movie. At the time, he had a thing for the movie Grown Ups. Not sure why but it was hilarious to him. I was definitely over watching it a gazillion times and was looking for an age appropriate alternative. So I grabbed it and when we got home I put it in the DVD player. My son wanted NOTHING to do with it. Then, one magical day he actually watched it. That’s when the obsession began. Eventually we bought him part 1 and part 2. That’s all he would watch. He wanted nothing to do with anything else. No more Grown Ups, no nothing. When we turned it off to watch tv ourselves he’d scream and cry until one of us was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and turned it back on. Fast forward six months and many viewings of the Toy Story trilogy later. We are at a pawn shop with my mother in law. Hubby and I are in the movie section and he sees Shrek.  He suggests we get it because after all his oldest loved it. Plus it has a plethora of adult humor. It didn’t take much coaxing so we bought it and put it in right when we got home. Jr was instantly hooked. So then we bought the 2^nd, 3^rd and then Shrek the final chapter which is our favorite one. I said all that to say this:

i. love. Shrek.

There, I said it. I heart the green monster of an ogre. Shrek is one of the very few kids’ movies I can watch over and over and over again. I mean with Mike Meyers and Eddie Murphy how can you go wrong? Need to do some cleaning? I put on Shrek. Need to make a phone call? I put on Shrek. Need to have an adult conversation without someone pulling on your pant leg? I put on Shrek. Need to use the bathroom for more than 30 seconds? I put on Shrek. He is my go to when I need my little guy to just be still for a few minutes. My kid loves it all. The characters, the jokes, the songs, everything. I am not ashamed to say that for the serene tranquility it gives me for those few minutes, I love it too!

                                                        

How does Shrek rate in your family? Too raunchy? Too silly? Or are you an ogre lover like us?

Photo credited to Dreamworks

False alarm...

Call off the preggo police. I am convinced it was a false alarm. Remember how I mentioned my good friend Teressa and how my cycle comes after hers is done? She informed me today that hers stopped and when I went to the bathroom on my break guess who reared her ugly head? Yep. That b****. It was only a little (tmi, I know) could it be implantation bleeding? Let me not go there and get my hopes up. Ugh. Maybe SHE is the reason my sisters have been irritating the crap out of me. Thanks mom and dad for making me the oldest to 3 sisters. You guys set me up! Anywho the twins are going to be 18 in a few days ::gasp:: and it seems as though the older they get the more common sense they lose. Seriously, meet my halfway hon. Maybe it’s me and the fact that I have more life experience than they do. Nope, it’s definitely them lol.

7 more days until my birthday btw. Maybe it’s my realization that this is my last year in my 20’s (yikes!). But EVERYTHING and EVERYONE is on my last nerves! My inner monologue has been going something like this:

-      Oh my goooossshhhh why must he refer to himself in third person!???!!!??

-      Can she chew any louder??!!???

-      Why in the heck does DH have 4 pairs of shoes spread out in different areas of the living room?????!!???

-      Does that person KNOW HOW to drive or are they making up rules as they go along? MOOOOVVVVEEE!!!!!!

LOL. W.T.F Meli. Get a grip, a strong one. And a cocktail. Yes, go grip a strong cocktail! Then, go buy shoes.

And yes I published 3 posts today because I am trying to convince myself I am a semi-productive person :)

Get out of my head

Words. Thoughts. Hopes. Dreams. Regrets.

Over the last week I’ve been plagued and haunted by my own brain.

Wait, what? Yes! I have waaay too much going on right now in my head and I feel like I am going to spontaneously combust. Maybe it’s because I figured out blogging / counseling is what I want to do. OR because in 8 days I will be 29 and have realized I am headed to my “dirty thirties”.

IDK.

At least writing lowers the annoying sound of the constant inner monologue that seems to play all day in my head. I can barely focus when someone is talking to me. I literally sat on the couch last night with hubby watching re-runs of ‘The Office’ all the while writing fiercely. At one point hubby leaned over to peek. Right now my subconscious is wondering what the h-e-double hockey sticks is going on with my stomach. She’s not sure if it’s because we said eff it and drunk coffee and a breakfast essentials while munching on a calorie-loaded glazed donut or….could I be pregnant? That witch wonderful visitor is supposed to be showing up any day now. I know this not because I track it regularly or mark it on my calendar or have an app (which they do by the way called My Days - you're welcome avid trackers). I know because it comes right after my friend Teressa is done with hers. Funny right. Lately I have been extra tired, extra annoyed and feel like I am having an out of body experience. I mean, I’d love another baby. We aren’t officially trying, but we aren’t officially preventing either. We are like in between both of those. I feel horrid. My head could hit this table right now and my eyes would close with no protest. Matter of fact, I think I will give in. 15 minute power nap here I come!

My how things change....

Wow. I cannot believe it's been 2 years since that last blog post. So much has changed I do not even know where to start. So we did end up moving. The house is a blessing. There are some downfalls like the area it is in and the fact that the master bathroom doesn't have good ventilation. But other than that we have no complaints. We still have a year and a half left on the lease but we are looking to move on to bigger and better once we are done. 

Jr is so not a baby anymore but an obnoxious 2 year old with at-ti-tude galore. That kid never ceases to amaze me at how smart he is and how easy he grasps concepts. He currently loves Daniel the Tiger and SuperWhy and all things Toy Story or Shrek. He has a love for furniture moving as he insists on flipping his table and chairs as you can see the chair laying on it's side in the picture below lol.  He also stops to look at the TV every time a woman is on there. Seriously kid, you're two lol.

More posts to come my peeps.Until then check out my booboo blowing kisses to daddy :)