Losing My Best Friend, My Sister and My Twin to A Thing Called Life...

     As everyone knows me on this blog I'm Twin Uno... So that means there's a Twin Dos... Twin dos is my best friend. But she didn't always use to be my best friend...

     We always fought. About clothes, about shoes, "She's looking at me." Stupid things. But What sisters don't? I use to say I hated my sister. Because at one point I thought I did. I never thought me and her could ever get close. I never use to trust her. We just grew so far apart in middle school.

    People would tell us how stupid we were because we were twins. Were suppose to be each others best friends. But, your not in our situation. You don't know what we go through with each other on a day to day basis. We've been with each other from every waking moment since the day you were conceived.

    Once we turn seventeen we had both realized how stupid it was to be fighting all the time and not be best friends.We both realized how important it was for us it was to get closer to one another because we were growing up and one day we were going to actually have to grow up.  Slowly we started growing closer to one another... Secretly... We both knew what we were doing but the other one didn't.

    March 13th, 2014 I lost my best friend, my sister and my twin to a thing called life. That's the day she got married. Than on March 14th., 2014 She moved three hours away. I didn't realize till that day how close I was to her. I didn't realize till that day how much I loved her. I didn't realize that day how hard it was going to be. I didn't realize till that day how much I wished she stole my clothes again. I just wished on anything that she'd come back....
.
   I cried for three days straight. I felt like she died. My heart was so broken. I could actually feel it break. My stomach was so tied up in knots. Yes it was a good thing that she was happy. I was happy for her. But that doesn't mean I want my best friend gone.

   A twins bond is the strongest bond ever. Ever since I was in pre-k they use to bring her to me when I was crying... No one brought her to me this time. Her room was right next to mine. We kept her door shut. I couldn't bare to look into it. She didn't feel as much pain I was in yet because she had her mind on her new husband and moving but that's where I say yet....
 
   April 4th, 2014, I moved to Florida. That's when she finally realized my pain. The pain of me being more than 1,000 miles away. She finally felt what I felt. The stomach tied in knots and the heart breaking. It wasn't pretty how many Facebook updates I got about myself lol.

  But to this day our relationship is only getting stronger. I guess we had to mature a little bit to realize how much we meant to each other.

Dealing with Autism so Close to Home.

Hey all! Here's another guest post from my sister Twin Uno and today she is talking about something that is near and dear to us...


This is my story on how I deal with my little sister having Autism....

   When Angela was about two years old we started seeing signs that she was different. Things like her only standing on her tip toes to walk. It took her a really long time to crawl.But we brushed it off for a long time because we thought it was normal.

When Angela started going to school she started developing and learning slower than the other kids. That's when it really hit us that something may be wrong.

After years and years of testing the doctors told us she had Autism.

Autism is a mental condition, present from early childhood, characterized by difficulty in communicating and forming relationships with other people and in using language and abstract concepts.

    I see Angela as just a normal kid. Other kids may find her as weird or crazy and they may make fun of her. But she's my little sister who I love and adore. Here's Angela in a nutshell... When she wants to act her age she will. When she doesn't she'll talk what we call 'baby talk'. She watches the weather a lot. She has recently gotten into Doctor shows. She can also be really funny. I want her to feel like she can talk to me but she picks the worst times to be the most talkative... but that's sisters for you.


    At this moment Angela and I are sharing a room, which is a lot on me.

I like to say I'm very patient with her and the fact that she has Autism... But I'm really not... When she makes her noises, talks like a baby or talks a lot I tell her to shut up or yell at her. I do feel really bad about it... I do wanna blame it and say that its the sister in me that comes out but I don't want to... The sister in me no matter what should protect my little sister no matter how annoying she might be because she can't take care of herself and because I have to do it for her.



   Sharing a room with Angela also comes with a price that her mentality is about an eight year old sometimes... So she likes One Direction and puppies and she wants it all over our room.  Me being the eighteen year old I am all I want in my room is zebra EVERYWHERE and maybe a Fifth Harmony poster on the wall. But I have to be mature and come to the decision that she can have at least One Direction over her bed.


  Living with a little sister who has autism is hard. It never gets easier... Especially when she becomes a teenager and that little teenager rebellion starts to kick in every now and then. Angela is almost sixteen and its just now kicking in so I guess we can say we're lucky. But she has a smart mouth. Man,  if I had known I had a mouth like that when I was younger I would have slapped myself. Now she slams our door when she doesn't get her way. Like this morning she asked me one time to wake up I just laid there trying to wake up. She walked out after like two seconds and slammed the door boy I jumped outta bed so fast and she found out to never slam that door again lol. Eventually she'll do it anyways though because with Autism you end up forgetting things.


  Sometimes I have to tell Angela step by step what to clean because other wise she'll forget. She forgets where she grew up. She forgets what happened yesterday. I feel really bad for her sometimes.



  Like I said before... Its really hard having a little sister with Autism. But I make it through. I love her with all my heart. I couldn't imagine her without Autism. The Autism makes her who she is. But I'd love her with or without Autism. Her waking up every morning makes me wake up every morning. I love you, Angela <3.

Twin Uno and Angela

If this story has effected or impacted your life in anyway please donate to our group Angela's Angels. We will be walking to support Autism on Saturday April 26th. The link to donate is here: 

http://www.walknowforautismspeaks.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=1084173&lis=0&kntae1084173=0CDE87B2EACC4A4AB1B4C2A2F9165C7B&supId=0&team=5943915&cj=&teamName=Angela%2527s%2BAngels

Dealing with Forms of Anxiety

Here's another guest post from Twin Uno and she is talking about something a lot of people go through. Check it out.

 Social anxiety is a discomfort or a fear when a person is in social interactions that involve a concern about being judged or evaluated by others.

 Anxiety is stress that can come from any event or thought that makes you feel frustrated, angry, or nervous. Anxiety is a feeling of fear, unease, and worry. The source of these symptoms is not always known.

About three years ago when I had just moved to Tennessee I had noticed something wasn't right. I was more shy. I couldn't raise my hand in class. I would freak out over little tiny messes and I couldn't go to the bathroom by myself. Someone always had to go with me.

I started doing some research at school after realizing my new habits and had come to the conclusion that I had anxiety. I also had a form of anxiety called social anxiety.

After noticing all these habits I started to hate myself. Making myself even more self continuous than I already was. So I wanted help.

I started seeing a therapist. This therapist didn't give me medication. She gave me tools for life. One thing she taught me to do when I get anxious or feel uneasy is the relaxation method. The relax action method is you pretty much relaxing your entire body starting from your head to your toes saying take all the stress and the anxiety out of my head and let it sink into to the bed. Its easier when your laying down. Another tool she taught me was concentrating on something else when you have for example a lot of people around you and you don't feel comfortable something I did was a tapped my fingers on my leg (its not noticeable because people with social anxiety don't want to be noticed) I also counted till my anxiety was maintainable. The last tool for life I was taught was when I was in an anxious situation I couldn't handle is close my eyes and think of my happy place. Think of how it feels, how it tastes, how it smells and also how it sounds.

Before I moved my happy place happened to be on the beach with my nephew. So how it felt: hot. How it tasted: salty because of the water. How it smells fishy lol and how it sounded was loud and I could always hear my nephew's cute little laugh.

There's a ton of tools for life methods you just have to figure out what works for you or if it works for you. Before I knew it I was trying out for the school choir. I even brought myself to changing schools. I made new friends. I could raise my hand in class I could even go to the bathroom by myself.

My therapist was even impressed with how much I had accomplished within a short amount of time. I'm more outgoing now. I'm still shy. But I am also still working on things. I will always deal with anxiety and social anxiety. But as for now I'm just me.

Photo Credit:sandiegopsychologist.com

Moving Day From Hell

 Hey cyber peeps! The Hightowers have been extra busy with life slapping us in the face...so I'll be having my sister (Twin Uno) guest post on here every week so you guys won't miss me too much :) They recently moved back to where I'm residing in sunny Florida and I am grateful to have them back. Unfortunately their moving experience wasn't all bells and whistles. Read my sister's post below to see what I mean and check out this cute picture of my baby loving that his titi is back in town :)

When I think of moving...I think of leaving people and friends I love behind. I never thought I'd be leaving things that I actually needed behind.

 See, moving has always been exciting for me. I get a new house and a new room to decorate and rearrange. I get to make new friends. Maybe even change my look if need be. It's like a fresh start and it feels good. However something wasn't right about this time.This time around moving didn't seem that fun. 

There were 3 hard obstacles we had to deal with:
1) My dad had to fly in from Florida to Memphis to drive the truck back and caught a cold when he got here
2) My mom needed to go through stuff especially since we were downgrading to a condo and we obviously still had way too much 
3) Again this probably goes with #2 but we had WAY too much stuff and had to leave things behind- MY THINGS

When you have  3 adults and 1 child who all have stuff, you have to make sure you strategically pack the truck so everything will fit. This time, that was not the case. Everything got loaded onto the moving truck and it was packed to its core. Not even a single paperclip could've fit. I  happened to walk into my room and nothing of mine was packed on the truck! Not my TV, not my dresser and certainly not my bed. I would have nowhere to sleep at the new place!

 After all the arguing, the little excitement I did have left went completely down the drain. All I could do was burst into tears. We made a decision to leave my things including my bed there. Lucky me. Shortly after, we opened up the hall closet and found eight more boxes of things that we all absolutely could not live without. So we ended up buying a trailer to go on the back of the moving truck. Finally we could fit everything I needed onto this trailer. If it had lips, I probably would've kissed it!

The only things that ended up being left was the box spring to my bed and the dining room table... When my dad tells you to down size... he really means it!  Luckily there was room for us to fit in the car and the cab of the truck - so we didn't have to downsize lol.

Do you have any moving horror stories? Did your dad make you leave half your bed behind? Feel free to share so I don't think I am alone on this...